Twas the night before Christmas, despite R'’s in the House,
tax increases were coming, for you and your spouse
The tax bills were hung by the chimney with care,
in the hopes that St. Gregoire soon would be there.
Voters were nestled all snug in their beds,
while visions of state spending danced in their heads.
And Mama in her 'kerchief, and I in my cap,
had just become friendly with a 601 cap.
When out on the roof there arose such a clatter,
I yelled from my bed, "“government shouldn'’t get fatter!"”
Away to the window I hastily made tracks,
to try to stem off an increasing gas tax.
But the mood of the voters in greater Seattle,
gave the lustre of slaughter in fat moon-eyed cattle,
when, what to my wondering eyes should appear,
but a Governor dressed like a quick marketeer.
Like a Gary Locke counterpart binary star,
I knew in a moment it must be Gregoire.
More rapid than eagles, her coursers they came,
and she whistled and shouted and called them by name:
"Now Brown! Now Doumit!
Now, Eidie and Franklin!
On, Prentice! Kastama!
On, Berkey and Haugen!
To the top of the porch!
To the top of the wall!
Now tax away! Tax away!
Tax away all!"
But before voters could say they'’ve had quite enough,
she backed a tax plan that told us all, "“tough!'”
Up to the capital, the Democrats they flew,
to increase state spending, saying "“601'’s through"”!
And then, in a twinkling, I heard on the fly,
that R'’s want the gas tax to go bye-bye.
As I drew in my head and was turning around,
the Democrats poo-pooed the idea into the ground.
She campaigned "“no new taxes'”, but we found that was glossy,
a Dem-crafted try to campaign just like Rossi.
A bundle of tax increases flung on her back,
and increasing regulations on the fast-track.
Her eyes--how they twinkled! Her dimples, how merry!
like an anti-war protester backing John Kerry!
Her mouth was drawn up like a big Christmas bow,
with her lawmaking pen bathed in a Locke/Lowery glow.
Forget what the voters need, forget all the laws,
she said, "“let'’s enact an Emergency Clause!"”
"“Lets pass all the things that the people will need,
while feeding our collective left-leaning greed."”
She passed lots of increases, like a sly elf,
against her campaign and in spite of herself.
A wink of her eye and a twist of her head,
soon gave me to know that all tax breaks were dead.
She spoke not a word, but went straight to her work,
and filled the state coffers, then turned with a jerk.
And laying her finger aside of her nose,
she called for more WASL bucks, and KingCo pros.
She sprang to her sleigh, to her team gave a whistle,
and away they all flew like the down of a thistle.
But I heard her exclaim, 'ere she drove out of sight,
"You're screwed at the pump, and to all a good night!"
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